Grrrrr!

I just had to quit my job. Grr. I LOVE Tarrant's so much. Their food is so yummy. I am in school full time Monday through Thursday, and for some reason my boss seems to think I deserve to get NO shifts on the weekends because I'm not available on weekdays. For the past 2 weeks, he hasn't put me on the schedule. He blames me for being in school, and says other people want the good shifts too, and that I can't get them because I don't work during the week. WOW. I'm in SCHOOL you idiot. So, I quit. Blech. Not a good day.

Yeah I know he's a pretty good read.

"she's young,
she said,
but look at me,
I have pretty ankles,
and look at my wrists,
I have prettywrists
o my god,
I thought it was all working,
and now it's her again,
every time she phones you go crazy,
you told me it was over
you told me it was finished,
listen, I've lived long enough to become a good woman,
why do you need a bad woman?
you need to be tortured, don't you?
you think life is rotten if somebody treats you rotten it all fits, doesn't it?
tell me, is that it? do you want to be treated like a piece of shit?
and my son, my son was going to meet you.
I told my son and I dropped all my lovers.
I stood up in a cafe and screamed
I'M IN LOVE,
and now you've made a fool of me. . .
I'm sorry, I said, I'm really sorry.
hold me, she said, will you please hold me?
I've never been in one of these things before, I said,
these triangles. . .
she got up and lit a cigarette,
she was trembling all over.
she paced up and down,
wild and crazy.
she hada small body.
her arms were thin,
very thin
and when she screamed and started beating me
I held her wrists and then I got it through the eyes:hatred,
centuries deep and true.
I was wrong and graceless and sick.
all the things I had learned had been wasted.
there was no creature living as foul as I
and all my poems were false."

-Bukowski


"we are always asked
to understand the other person's viewpoint
no matter how out-dated
foolish or
obnoxious.
one is asked to view
their total error
their life-waste
with kindliness,
especially if they are aged.
but age is the total of our doing.
they have aged badlybecause they have lived out of focus,
they have refused to see.
not their fault?
whose fault?
mine?
I am asked to hide my view point from them
for fear of their fear.
age is no crime
but the shame of a deliberately wasted life
among so many
deliberately
wasted
lives
is. "

-Bukowski

Long Post. Catching up.

I'm not even sure where to begin! I got back from Costa Rica a few weeks ago, all nice and tan. I had a wonderful time and there are millions of pictures on Facebook if you are interested. My trip included surfing, zip lining, ATV-ing in the jungle, eating delicious 5-star food, drinking heavily, and of course laying out poolside most of the time. Note to self: Don't fall asleep in the sun when you have a wristband on. The weather was perfect, the people were pleasant, and I never wanted to leave. It was my first time out of the country and what a first time it was!

Fall semester has started back up at good old VCU and I am taking 5 classes. It is pretty overwhelming so far. I am in this Mass Communications journalism class where the first thing they said on the first day of class was: "We all are professional journalists here to teach you, and if you don't bust your ass, we'll weed you out." So I am preparing to do a lot of learning this semester, which I completely look forward to. Living in Oregon Hill is convenient and I ride my bike to class (yay for some form of exercise!) but since I got a new haircut, my bangs are temperamental and usually end up looking like a 70's feathered haircut by the time I get to class. Ew. 

With all this presidential hoop-la I honestly just want the damn thing to be over with. I could care less how fucked up McCain's VP is or why Joe Biden sucks, I just want Obama to be my man. 

For Labor Day, I went to Trey's parent's cabin up in Bath County (about 3 hours from RVA) and spent the weekend with his family and their friends. What a blast. The cabin is sooo tiny. You can't so much as turn around in the bathroom without tripping over something, and majority of the vertical space is occupied by beds, lofts and stairs. With so many people (about 20) joining us, naturally a lot of us had to use tents and camp outside. Trey and I had such a fun time. I adore his parents, especially his mom. She's probably one of the nicest and silliest people I know. You never see a frown on her face, she's always got a drink in her hand (well, the only time we've hung out is when she's on vacation so that's okay) and she laughs constantly. My mood gets so goofy around her and I find myself laughing just because I see her laugh. She took real good care of us, feeding us and making yummy drinks (she has a special chocolate shooter that is to die for.) We relaxed by the fire at night while drinking, spent the days outside on rafts in the water (it was freezing) and played cards and Apples to Apples (a recent new addition to my favorite games of all time). Trey got a little too trashed the last night we were there and let's just say ground beef is the LAST thing you want to eat before a night of heavy drinking, especially when you have to share a tent with somebody else. Double ew. The last day, we floated down the river on tubes and enjoyed a relaxing yet hungover afternoon before the drive home. 

Trey wasn't feeling well still, so I drove us home. On the way, I started getting a sore throat. I thought nothing of it but by the time we got to his house, I was getting the chills and my throat was getting worse. I spent the rest of the evening sleeping. When I woke up for class, I was still in terrible conditions. I contemplated how bad the repercussions would be if I didn't go to school (being that we had already had Monday off) and realized I just couldn't do it. I went home and slept. all. day. Got up around 4pm because my entire bed was covered in sweat. I took my temperature throughout the day and from 12pm it was 101 and managed to spike up to 104.1 by 5pm. I was delirious, feverish, dizzy, and my throat was on fucking fire. Trey took me to Patient First around 7 and I got what was coming for me. Q-tips shoved down my already-painful throat, blood work (if it's anymore than 2 vials, I get woozy) and eventual test results showed that I don't have Strep (which I usually get once a year if not more) but that I had some raging bacterial infection. My white blood cell count was really high. Normal results are from 4.0-10.5 and mine came back as 18.8. The doctor freaked me out by saying that "if I don't get better by tomorrow, I will be admitted to the ER." Now the embarrassing part: I had to get two shots. In my butt. So right now I have two circular band-aids matching on either side of my ass and one big charley horsed behind. Today, my temperature was normal, and I returned to the doctor's per her request. They drew blood again and I'm now down to 15.9, but since it is Patient First and I don't even consider them REAL doctors, I let a new doctor today who had no idea what I went through yesterday bug me with the same redundant questions. He seemed perplexed as to why my doctor from last night gave me shots. He sent me home with antibiotics and (get this) codeine. Woohoo! So thus explains this post's longevity and incoherency. I am doped up on codeine. It's liquid form, mixed with tylenol, and although it kind of makes me nauseous, it is my best friend right now. Imagine if every time you swallowed (food or just saliva) it felt like you were swallowing a mouthful of razors. I can't eat, I can barely drink, and I am floating in space right now. I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days, I haven't showered, I smell TERRIBLE, and look the part as well. Poor Trey has been so helpful and my cats have been by my side. Boogeyman has been ordained "The Littlest Prince" by my roommates because he's so dainty and agile. He is curled up next to me as we speak. So that's where I am in life right now. Broke, behind in school, and sick as can be. 

Taryn and I got our matching friendship tattoos and I LOVE IT. I miss her. See Taryn, I MISS YOU! You busy little wedding-planning bee!

Wish me luck on a speedy recovery!