Along for the ride.

I went to my first hardcore show yesterday in Newport News. Lewd Acts, Kingdom, Original Sin and some other band I forget were the band du jour for the evening. Liberty 4 is a craphole. It's a room with a stage. And by stage I mean something made out of plywood that stretches maybe 10 feet long. Spraypaint tags and graffiti added a lovely decor feel to the room. The weather was not in our favor (a friggin terrential downpour), as the rain made the non-airconditioned venue stink and swamp up like a humid day in Richmond. It was fun and interesting, that is for sure.

I rode up in the pedophillic "Small World Child Care" van with Larry, Trey and Brett. Observation 1: Larry is a nutty driver. Of course the second we got onto the highway, there was an accident, which caused a 30 minute delay to our destination. No biggie! Larry's van had no A/C so I drenched my shirt in sweat as I jealously watched Trey and Brett go shirtless for the entire ride. Sticky leather van seats blow!

It took a little bit of "Who's going on first? Us? I thought you were!" to figure out the schedule but the show finally started about an hour after we arrived. During this hour, Larry, Stu, Kevin, Aaron and I all sat in the pederass van and drank. It smelled like MAN in that van, let me tell you. It was awesome though. I'm a tough girl.

Original Sin is fun to watch. So is Kingdom. They just returned from a tour in Europe. Their lead singer is this tiny little unshaven tattooed vegan straight edge girl. Her appearance gives off the notion that the band is iffy, but once she opens her mouth, you are blown away by what sounds mistakenly like a large man screaming mercilessly into the mic. I was amazed. I almost saw a fight, too. Typical! It would've been too cliche to see a fight at that show though and I'm glad it didn't errupt. Original Sin played for about 20 minutes and I couldn't help but tap my foot and nod my head to Larry's pelting and gigantic performance. I felt a rush of energetic electricity vibrate through my body as Trey, Stu and Aaron shredded. I'm no expert on music, but if it makes me vibe, then it's good to me.
Observation 2: Kevin Kauffman (drummer) is badass. Kevin is like the Yanni of drumming. It comes out of no where, you'd never think it if you saw him. Jaw-dropping percussion heaven.

After we packed up and listened to most of the show, everyone became groggy and tired. Newport News' sky and air was filled with smoke and campfire-esque fragrances due to some peet burning in NC (or at least that's Larry's story). We all had humidity headaches and the lack of water and decent food (my dinner was a tabasco slim jim and a pack of peanut butter crackers) turned everyone's mood into blah. Stu and Kevin rode back with us, as Brett drove and Larry continued to drink. Trey and I sat in the back using each other's shoulders as pillows. Observation 3: Brett drives crazier than Larry. To Larry, this was funny, because how could you not laugh at a 6'5" bouncer driving a ped van at 90 miles an hour with 5 people and a whole set of instruments in the back, all the while swerving and taking exit ramps at an alarmingly fast speed.
No one barely spoke the entire ride home. Except Larry. Observation 4: Larry LOVES Tim Barry. I do too, but jesus you'd think the singer of a hardcore band, after having a show, wouldn't want to sing for the rest of the night! We were serenaded by Larry for a good hour. It was soothing and far from what he does in Original Sin. I had so much fun last night.

Ohhh Hill.

I must be sick. For the past few months, I've been feeling extremely out of it. Dazed and confused. Lightheaded. Perhaps in need of a doctor's visit. I have my speculations. I only hope...eetz naught uh tumuuuur.
I move soon to the historically loco Oregon Hill on July 1st. Whilst in Richmond I had always desired to live there, mainly for the experience, and now I'm going to do just that. Aside from living pretty much down the street from one of my ex's girlfriends, I couldn't be happier. Audrey and Chris will accompany me for a year in a 3 bedroom, 2nd floor apartment. We will be proud renters of central air, a dishwasher, washer and a dryer. Ammenities Lauren hasn't had in years. A balcony on the front of the house is shaded by a big tree and I expect to spend many a lazy afternoons on it. Come join. Bring champagne.
I never updated after Memphis, but I can tell you this much, it was fun. Lots of fun. Then I went to the beach with Taryn and that was lots of fun too. I met good people. If you're a competent facebook user, no doubt you've seen the pictures. A flash before my eyes, a quick blink, a cat nap if you will, and boom, things've changed. I think fate is a funny thing to base your life around, hell, I don't even believe in it, but as someone recently said, crossing paths with certain people just seems...inevitable. One chapter ends, the next begins. Sometimes unexpectedly sooner than later. Sometimes a collision of chapters occurs. Sometimes the title of the new chapter makes you wiggle in your seat in anticipation of reading it. Whatever the name of this summer's chapter may be, let it be known that I am wiggling in my seat.

Pussy Troubles

I want to donkeypunch one of my cats. He is such a little shit all. the. time. When he's not sleeping and being a completely worthless ball of fuzz, he's knocking things over and constantly playing in the litter box. He'll go into it and paw around for 5 minutes and just play with the little pieces of litter. Great. I raised a child whose favorite past time is rummaging around in his own feces. Way to go, Lauren! And THEN, when he gets out of the litter box, he's got all these little pieces of litter in between his toes and enjoys jumping around my apartment and sprinkling them everywhere. I mean everywhere! He makes a running superman jump out of the litter box and all you hear is bits of clay flying all over my constantly-swept hardwood floor.
He bites my toes when I'm sleeping , follows infront of me in a zig-zag pattern so that I trip over him and pees on my dirty clothes when he feels like it. My other cat (Boogeyman, the one and only) is an absolute angel. But this one, by god, he's truly a re-re. What a worthless dingleberry.

Awkward moments: Or is it spelled "akward?" I'm too lazy to look it up.

-When you're walking a dog and someone is walking right by you when the dog decides to take a huge dump. You're just standing there trying not to notice but everyone knows your dog is pooing and it stinks.
-When you are having a good day and you are getting out of your car all the while singing under your breath a favorite tune and you look up to see somebody staring at you.
-When you're at CVS buying some tampons for when Aunt Flo visits and they have to announce over the PA that they need a price check. And yeah the people in line behind you are giggling.
-When you're changing the kitty litter and you haul a big trash bag full of disgusting excriment down to the shared garbage bins and somebody walks by your alley, noticing not only that it smells like shit but that you are a busted mess, wearing nothing but a see through tank top and shorts, minus a bra, flip flops, and of course still wearing the remainder of last night's makeup as it leaks from your crusty eyes.
-When you're leaving your apartment and as you exit the door, you say something stupidly cute to your cats in a high pitched baby voice only to turn around and realize your neighbor is walking by your door and thinks you are NUTSO.
I love those types of moments. Maybe I'm just crazy.


Feel free to comment and tell me YOUR a(w)kward moments!